Dave and Sophie’s Barcelona Holiday
As reviewed by the cast of Love is Blind
ZANAB says:
I mean, Sophie was invited to spend a long weekend in Barcelona by an artist, so I think one would expect a cultural experience.
Maybe it’s just me, but I wouldn’t consider eating breakfast at the same place everyday and walking back and forth to the same square as “sight seeing”. But I guess that’s what happens when you bookmark “Dick Waffle” on your maps app.
Perhaps Dave should have paid more attention to his calendar app instead. Is there a reason he brought her to dinner a day early? I guess his idea of culture is eating tapas next to a Tesla dealership.
Also—I prefer my Flamenco shows to include Flamenco dancing.
But at least Sophie seemed happy with the Sangria. I would be too if I was used to drinking fishbowls of Pizzaria “cocktails” and 1 Liter Pina coladas, which he’d spill all over himself himself anyway.
I did like when Dave didn’t give Sophie that single red rose.
Romantic gestures from Long Island tourists? Really? Is that what we’re doing now?
One star
MATT says:
I watched a man fly a gal to another country, put her up in a hotel with the finest house keeping staff the world has ever seen — and he was rewarded with a woman who had the audacity to talk that way about Dr Phil?!?!
HOW CAN YOU TRUST HER!!!!
Zero Stars
Nancy says:
I loved it. But they spent a lot of time on boats...
Don’t they know about boat toilets? You can’t even flush paper down it? What if you clog it with a dookie?!?!
Anyway…why do you think Bartise doesn’t see me as a sexual being any more?
Four Stars
Andrew says:
Ah yes, Bar-thé-lona; as it was pronounced by my older Catalonian lover. I first met Carmen when I booked her four hour walking tour; which soon transformed into a six week sojourn of sexual exploration under the star filled sky of Marina Port Vell. She taught me much—including the night a retired bullfighter joined us in our expense account bedroom.
(Pause for eye drops)
The thought if it brings tears to my eyes. It was then that I learned a red cape could tame more than just a bull, but a mans soul as well. Sophie…Perhaps, one day you’ll grow tired of having smart conversations about stupid things, and I could teach you the erotic ways of el matador.
I Give Myself Five Stars
Alexa says:
I get it girl. You’ve got a snacking system, and don’t let that fool give you cheese right after you had cheese. You know what you like, and what you like is snacks, pigeons, and contrast.
Get after it.
Four Stars
Bartise says:
I mean — to be totally honest, I don’t fucking get these two. They would close out a fucking restaurant, talking the whole time. Then they’d go fucking bar hopping, talking the whole time. Then they’d go fucking karaoke hopping until 7am, talking the whole FUCKING time… and yet, they barely said anything about abortion? I mean, like, what the actual fuck?
But bro — Sophie is a smoke show.
I’d kill a baby to be in your position!
Five Stars
BONUS REVIEWS!
The Corn Kid says:
Why did they spill all that popcorn on the floor? Don’t they know how good all kinds of corn is? I love corn! It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Did they try it with butter? That changes everything.
Rating: Corntastic!!!
7AM Sophie Says:
Rock and roll and brew!
Rock and Roll and Brew!
They don’t mean a thing when I compare them next to….
…..zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Rating: All The Crystals